Thursday, September 1, 2011

These are the balls of my life...

After we moved from Germany while my mom and the sarg were getting everything settled in Texas, The evil one and I were sent to stay with my daddy. It had been so long since I had seen him and I was truly scared. All I knew about him was that he had remarried and was a horrible man who cheated and used drugs instead of being a father. I cant remember if I liked him at the time or not but I was the type of child that believed Mommy's words were golden. She never lied or said anything bad (sweet innocent me) I remember that the evil one was upset that I was going with her to see HER daddy and didn't want me tagging along, but mommy needed someone to watch us over the summer and daddy was her best choice.( thinking back to how horrible of a person she thought he was I am shocked that my grandmother wasn't totally insulted that he got us instead of her) We went to Florida and we had a wonderful time other then the fact that I cried myself to sleep every night and was shy.
One night wanting to be with the big girls I climbed in bed with the "big girls" The evil one and my stepsister. Of course I had to be the center of attention so I climbed right down the middle of them..bad choice, have I ever told you I'm a klutz? Well its true (that is your fair warning) When I got to the head of the bed where the big girls were giggling and the evil one enraged that I had the nerve to disturb her and her new friend were laying. I climbed just a bit to high and accidentally punched the step sister in the nose... poor girl I didn't get a chance to warn her....I was of course sent back to my room completely embarrassed and sooo ready to go home to mommy who would love on me and tell me everything was OK..

Ball Buster
in 2001 shortly after my husband and I met he started driving me home at night as a type of courting ritual I assume, anywayz he was very sweet about it and would hold the door open for me while I sweetly smiled and thanked him for his chivalry. A few weeks into our courting ritual he learned the hard truth I was a ball buster, you see he was holding the door open for me while I got into the car and as I turned quickly with my metal edged purse to be coy or say something sexy I slammed my metal edged purse into his balls.... giggling and quickly apologizing I got into the car and we drove off. Now that was bad and it seemed to happen often so out of sweetness and a want for him to get hard again one day I started to carry a purse that was cloth and slings across my chest. This was a fantastic thing because it made my boobs look bigger while protecting his package. Of course I do have a problem with standing too close so I ended up hitting him a few more times before the courting ritual was over.... the dumbass married me probably thinking I had broken his pride and joy by then and we lived painfully ever after!
The END!

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