Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Steers and Queers

Everything is bigger in Texas.... WHATEVER!
So we moved from the wonders and magic of Germany to the where we saw the most amazing scene of the Berlin Wall coming down to the heat, cows, and crazies of Texas. Almost as soon as we got there we watched WACO (we ain't coming out) the horrors of watching the military vehicles drive into the building holding innocent people and children. I remember thinking "OH My God Where in the hell are we!"
This was the beginning of the most horrifying three years in my life. Everything from watching my teacher get shot at Lube's Cafeteria to Waco and the flooding! I was constantly amazed by all the crazy things that happen there and I was so happy to finally get the hell out.

Now that I told you about that I figure I should tell you some important and recent news.
I don't know how many people you can tell but let everyone know and of course because I care you should know.
WEBMD is evil.
This is a program designed to scare you to death, LITERALLY! Every time I look up an ache or pain I find out that I have some new rare disease that is probably eating me from the inside out. Of course the program has been designed to send subliminal messages that pop up in your head every time you sneeze! I am unfortunately addictive and cannot stop but there is still hope for you... DON'T EVER LOOK UP AN ALIMENT ON WEBMD!  I promise you will soon be on your deathbed or at least writing your last will and testaments. when you came in and listed all of your symptoms for your head cold that according to WEBMD you actually had tuberculosis (true story I was freaking scared and didn't want anyone to touch me, at least until I looked it up again and found out it was only cancer) My doctor of course explained to me that it was actually me being a hypochondriac and I only had to dust my house... 
Stupid doctors don't know nothing! My house is so clean and dust free, must be cancer and she is blind but oh well I gotta live with it till I die from it.

No comments:

Post a Comment