Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Wimpy/Manipulative child!

The New Daddy
I was about 3 or 4 when mommy married the sarg. I was already a very manipulative little girl and knew that if I wanted to wrap this man around my finger I needed to lay on the charm, and fast! So shortly after they were married I climbed into the sarg’s lap and asked in the sweetest of voices “are you going to be my new daddy?” I KNOW ADORABLE! I believe that this is where I learned a sweet smile and doe eyes could turn even the hardest of hearts. I am not sure what was said but I know that growing up I was always shown favoritism over the evil one… (by the way parents kids know when you are catering to one child so just don’t do it… So wrong!) I was never allowed to call sarg daddy because it made him uncomfortable… I promise you I tried I knew if I could get that hold on him my life was golden. But he was always shy with us and so mommy did most of the talk to’s and gave all the love.

The Girls
I am not really sure when the evil one and I became one person but at some point my mother (who always had a hard time remembering which one was Missy, which one was Stacey and which one was the evil one) She still sometimes calls my daughter Stacey?!? I remember as I child I wanted nothing to do with the evil one I especially didn’t want to share a name with her. I found the loss of personal Identity annoying and more humiliating. I was not the evil one I was the one who tried to please everyone! Why was I getting grouped in with the evil one! I am sure that its was convenient to say “girls” rather then call names but come on when you have Satan on your hands you don’t want to lead the good child astray… lesson learned: only have one child!

Within weeks of mommy and the sarg getting married we moved to Germany. A great adventure that I will remember for all of my days! I remember we had this picture of the real Disney castle on our wall and that it was somewhere in Germany. We had an old haunted mansion down the street from us that at dusk all of the bats that lived inside would come out and fly around the highest tower! SPOOKY! I learned 3 languages in Germany unfortunately none of those being German. I am fluent in English (obviously not that great at spelling but come on I learned in a place that has squiggly lines over letters) I also learned pig Latin and it was one of the few things that the evil one and I connected on. We had to bond as best we could while in Germany otherwise we were screwed! So when the twin boys from downstairs started talking in their secret twin language one day I had to know! We bribed the boys into teaching us this quite annoying and very secret language. I still to this day really haven’t passed it on to but a chosen few…we of course have added slang to the language because all it take is two bored white girls to bastardize an entire language…  eacepa utoa otherma uckerfa

The Tunnel
At one point they were doing something across the street from our house and the supplies left there over the weekend were like the best playground on earth. They had all these long cement tubes that everyone would crawl through, of course I only did it once because it was scary and what if I got stuck! The one time I did decide to show everyone that I wasn’t a total wimp, I was following the evil one. Starring at her wiggling booty I slowly made my way through the tube… then all of the sudden she was no longer with me and something was holding onto the back of my shirt. Visions of goblins, dead hands and evil rabid animals came to mind I screamed and scrambled out crying… never to go through a tunnel again… so sad I was such a wimp.

Vo is das? Das ist ine ice! Das ist gut!

Ovela ouya!

1 comment:

  1. Sis, I don't think pig latin is a real language. LOL. I love your blog so you remember the guy that threw candy from his balcony?I love you.