Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Little O'l Me!
Now that I have told you a few of my horror stories I should let you know a little bit about me. Lets start with the fact that you will hear me referred to as many things, IT, the girls (I am actually only half of that group the evil one is the other girl) even bitch on occasion! My real name is Stacey, chosen by my father while my mother was heavily sedated; the name is a story in itself. 

Mommy and Sarg
I grew up with my mother and was the step daughter of an Army soldier… now I only remember what one patch is so while I am pretty sure he made it pretty close to the top, the patch I remember him wearing was first Calvary patch. Of course I was around 7 when he wore it but it is by far the best patch they have… it has a really cool horse head on it and so just about everyone knows it! I am still that girl who sees an army guy walking down the street and point and yell to my husband or anyone near for that matter “hey look first calv. Soldiers” saluting and pretty much making a fool of myself. This is of course quite embarrassing for everyone nearby, I believe even stranger are worried about me.
Mommy is this sweet little southern bell… SHE IS TERRIFYING! Mommy is a 4’ 11” tall petite red head, foreboding description I know, but that old saying big things come in small packages is 100% true about her. I have heard stories where she has attacked people twice her size. She is an evil little monster but also an amazing mother. I was that kid in high school with the cool mom.. She was and is my idol and bestest friends on earth! A woman of amazing morals and a forgiving soul. I love her to pieces (which wouldn’t be many because she is so tiny)

. ~ Annnywayz ~
 If you forget everything that you have already read I had a pretty good childhood, I was lucky enough to study abroad for a few years in Germany kindergarten though 3rd grade! Helz yea I’m well traveled! (in a good way) I am a proud owner of a piece of the Berlin wall! And I can speak 3 languages 2 fluently (English and Pig Latin)
Now while some people may say I have delusions of grandeur I believe that my physical presence can cause major events. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to control this AWSOME power and on occasion I cause major disasters…. Sorry Northridge, CA… my badL! It seams that everywhere we have lived some major event has happened good or bad it really doesn’t matter just CRAZY stuff follows me everywhere I go.. for example In Germany we watched the Berlin wall come down (good) but then in TX there was the WACO guy and luby’s cafeteria shooting (look it up) we were actually getting ready to head that way for breakfast (for some reason an obsessively prompt family was procrastination that day… chance or fate I ask you) o yea and all the crazy flooding… then Northridge while we lived on CA (again my bad) Funny how "the almighty" is smart enough to give me a gift like world domination and didn’t see that I was going to be a dumb blonde who will probably end up dying by accidentally strangling herself with the comforter... greeeaaattt!

Younger Days
While I was an angel compared to the evil one I was also a very fast learner. I had those parents who believe that if the evil one did something bad while spending the night at a friend’s house I was destined to do the same thing. So when she was evil I was grounded along with her; of course not as harshly punished because I hadn’t actually done anything yet. I was just guilty by association… an association that was their choice I remind you! Finally I decided that if I was going to get in trouble for something I might as well go ahead and do it. I love the evil one now a days but back then she was really bad at being sneaky. She was forever getting caught sneaking out… we had a yapper dog that would tell on you ever time.. So I learned from her mistakes and took Missy (the dog) with me. The only real problem was that I didn’t have anywhere to sneak out to so I ended up in the park across the street playing with the dog at 2 in the morning! SO LAME!  

As the evil one and I grew up we started to get along better… luckily I believe that the demons realized that she was getting a little too hard to handle and gave up on her… now a days she is a headstrong woman of 31 who can bring a man to his knees.. I believe god felt that I didn’t need this power so I was give complete control of planet earth, and all that reside on it.. (INSERT EVIL LAUGH)

I hope you enjoy this blog and realize that my family is a little off but all good and kind people. I love every one of them and would not be nearly as AWSONE, COOL, FUNNY as I am without each one contributing something crazy/wonderful to my life!! I am proud to say that I have a wonderful family, an amazing daughter, the hottest hubby on the block (if he reads this he will be so pissed at the j-lo/new kids on the block reference) the best friends on earth and a family that will drive you crazy one minute then have you rolling on the floor laughing. I am truly blessed and wouldn’t want any other family.
I love you all!
This is an actual picture of me controlling the really it's me!

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