Friday, September 2, 2011

Beverly Hillbillies


CALI GIRL!
I moved to California after living in Texas Hell for 3 scorching hot years. I was so excited about our move to California where I could become the actress/singer of my dreams. I automatically believed that every person who lived in there was famous and the state only allowed the exclusive to come in and experience their type of Paradise. I believed that I would act on the side while making my breakout album and spend my days living the lazy life on the beached of Malibu... Then I learned a few facts about California.

Fact 1: Be prepared to wake up in the middle of the night while the earth shakes violently for no apparent reason.
Fact 2: Understand that the rich and famous want nothing to do with you unless they have a movie coming out.
Fact 3: Do not walk up the hills (called snob hill by all us in the valley) in Ventura at Halloween and ask for candy it is a grueling trip and you will walk back down that hill with nothing to show for it.
Fact 4: Kids are stupid and will walk said snob hill every year in hope that the rich and famous will be giving out whole snickers bars, only to be disappointed once again.
Fact 5: The actual famous live in secluded home where you can drive by but you will vary rarely see them.
Fact 6: Moving to California is not going to make you famous.
Fact 7: Every year you will watch the horseshoe shaped hills around catch fire and burn for weeks.
Fact 8: Santa Ana winds suck!
And the most disturbing fact of all!
Fact 9: The beaches are freaking COLD!

AHH PARADISE!

The Kiddo
So you know that show Kids say the darndest thing? Well I had a prime candidate for that show.. only I had her a little too early and the show wasn’t on yet. Anyways my kid is so cute she did  the best stuff like one time she was just learning about how thing grow and that they need water so when she broke her colored pencil she knew it was made from a tree so she quickly walked over to the dogs water bowl and held the broken end in. SO CUTE
I love that darn kid and even at 10 she is still the funniest thing I have ever 

3 comments:

  1. So is Texas still considered Hell next to CA? I would think burning hills, no candy halloween and cold beaches would be more like hell. Get there thinking your going to party, then realizing Nope, it's just hell.

    Although, TX is way hotter than hell (I'll give you that!)

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  2. yea Texas is still hell California is the land of drama... I will post more about that later.

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